The Happy Musician Coaching
3 ways to be a Musicians Musician
Collaborating with other musicians is one of the best ways to grow musically and create momentum in your music career. Simply spending time with like-minded people on the same journey is also refreshing.
I went through a period in my music journey when I avoided other musicians like the plague. I would use my harp as an excuse not to "hang out" or participate. (it's too much to move, I can't leave it in the car, etc.) After a while, I noticed musicians didn't make an effort to get to know me (well duh). I was so wrapped up in my own insecurities, and fear of failure, I turned musicians off. I was sending out a vibe, and it wasn't a good one. After realizing this I set out to change it. It wasn't a fast process, but I learned three important ways to get over myself and open up.
1.) Get Out of Your Head: being a musician is about making music, learning something new, being reminded of something old, and being open-minded and accepting of the present. Whether you are playing in an orchestra or an impromptu jam session, don't allow yourself to be consumed by insecurities and baggage. Everyone has the same insecurities, focus on doing your best and enjoying yourself.
2.) Don't be a Debbi Downer: Don't minimize your skills, or degrade yourself. If someone pays you a compliment. Take it. Even if you don't feel you deserve it. Follow the rule If you can't say something nice don't say it at all, not even about yourself. When you speak negatively about yourself it sucks the air out of the space and quickly exhausts fellow musicians. Most musicians enjoy the company of people that love music just like them. Don't allow your insecurities to make you a killjoy.
3.) Curiosity Over Fear: You don't have to play 20 questions. But let your natural curiosity take the front seat. Fear can make you seem unapproachable. Listen to what's going on around you, stay present. If you don't know something, it's ok. It's also ok to say I want to know. Suddenly you've opened yourself up to learn something and connect with other musicians.
Being a musician is such a unique undertaking, it triggers an almost immediate comradery, no matter what instrument or level of musician we encounter. Sadly there are musicians that attempt to make others feel small. Know this, those are not Musicians you want to connect with. Musicians that do this (no matter how successful they are) do this because they are grappling with their own insecurities.
One of the reasons I love teaching is, I get to learn so much from students and cultivate wonderful connections. Every musician no matter where they are on their musical journey has something to share with another musician.
Candace Lark
Musician, Coach, Educator
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