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Your Pain File (Part One)

Updated: Jul 10, 2023

How musicians can turn pain into gain


We all have Pain Files- the mental files of the pain we have experienced on our journey.

The Pain of Inexperience

The Pain of Disappointment

The Pain of Conflict

The Painf of Financial Loss

The Pain of Relationship Loss

The Pain of Wasted Time

The Pain of Embarrasement

The Pain of Rejection

Ask yourself, does my pain file make me better or bitter? The answer to that question will help you understand where you currently are as a musician.

By examining your disappointments and problems, you can uncover valuable insights about yourself as a musician and as an individual. Ask yourself what went wrong, how you contributed to the situation, and what you can do differently in the future. Through self-reflection, you can pinpoint areas for growth and continuous improvement, enabling you to reach new heights in your musical journey.

Turn Pain into gain

On my journey to find my purpose, I learned about "life stance" - its ones overall way of looking at things. If you keep up a positive life stance, you utilize negative experiences as opportunities for growth. I personally give my energy and focus to things I can control. I prepare for the worse but expect the best. Even if the worst happens, I find that my life stance allows me to think clearly, stay strong, and keep going.

“Every problem introduces a person to himself.”

When you’re stuck, it's an opportunity for innovation and creativity. Author Neal Donald Walsh believes creativity begins at the end of your comfort zone. I completely agree; I believe anger and adrenaline are like rocket fuel when you use them to solve problems. Whenever I'm stuck, I always ask myself "What do I want the end result to be?" and "What do I need the end result to be?" This is how The Happy Musician Coaching was birthed, out of anger and frustration. I literally choose happiness, and so can you.

After covid, I vowed to prioritize time with friends and family. (still working on that, but I'm getting better) I keep hearing from them, "You've changed, your views, your attitude; I love it." That makes me happy because I have changed, I wanted to change, and I committed to change. Committing to change instead after a negative experience is one of the scariest and best things you can do.

When the weight of disappointments becomes unbearable, lean on your support system. Surround yourself with loved ones who can offer you a listening ear. This could be fellow musicians, friends, family, or mentors who have experienced similar challenges. Sharing your burdens not only lessens the load but also enables you to gain new perspectives and insights, ultimately helping you move forward with newfound determination.

Candace- The happy Musician coach


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