The Happy Musician Coach
I recently read about a survey done on musicians' fears. The top three fears among musicians were Underperformance, Embarrassment, and Rejection.
Embarrassment was number one for me, it was fueled by comparing myself to others. Fear of Failure/Success was number two. These fears have a significant effect on performing artists yet, I feel like many of us don't talk about them. I used to feel like I was the only one struggling with these fears, and as long as I worked hard like everyone else I would avoid them. That was partially true. What I also needed was to know that I wasn't alone in what I was dealing with.
Why are we afraid to talk about our fears?
I believe it's hard talking about our fears because it brings attention to emotional wounds we're not quite sure how to treat. if I get a cut, I know what to do. If I'm embarrassed, rejected, and feel like I let fellow musicians down. How do I treat that?
I treated it by giving myself permission to talk about my fears and be vulnerable Being vulnerable is where I not only found strength; I found healing. The empathy I encountered from other musicians was also a big part of that healing.
I learned that when we're open and honest about our fears. It's important to meet it with empathy. We shouldn't fear embarrassment and rejection because of our fear of embarrassment and rejection. It's a vicious cycle.
"Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly." - William Shakespeare
I've come to enjoy the conversations I have about fears and anxiety with musicians. Statements like "I feel so much better talking about this," "Why have I never discussed this with anyone?" and "OMG, you feel that way too!" are what stay with me. It's like applying emotional Neosporin and cushions at the same time. I'm pumped and ready to face my fears again.
Remember; fear is not bad, but too much can poison your potential. Even if you've never heard it from a musician, know that all of us are dealing with the same fears you are, and together we can work through them.
If you're suffering from anxiety, please, consult a doctor.
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Candace Lark
Musician, Coach, Educator
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